Saturday, June 13, 2015
How to keep friendship alive
Here goes my tips to keep friendship alive:::::::::::::::
Text during festivals, personal events like birthday,anniversary. If feasible, send gifts like postal mail with card, books etc.
Call atleast once every 2 months for close friends. However it is better if calls could be made more frequent like every week or every two weeks or every month. If it is costly then use skype or viber. For other friends atleast once a year call and festival texts should be sent.
Face to face meetup could not substitute anything. So arrange a face to face meetup every year or atleat once every two years or three years.
Keep a log of when you last called. Using MS Excel makes it very easy and you could even put up a column next schedule call. In that column you can use the formula that shows next scheduled call date after two weeks. To keep the note about friend, it is suggested to use Notepad or similar text editor as these are very simple and quikc to open.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-project/201001/eight-tips-maintaining-friendships
It turns out that seeing a person once every six weeks is plenty to keep a friendship alive. Meeting in a group is efficient, because you see a lot of people at once; it also means you’re creating a social network, not just a one-off friendship. It’s a lot easier to maintain friendships with people if you have several friends in common.
Make the effort to say “This made me think of you.” We’re all busy, and keeping in touch can feel like a lot of work. One strategy that works for me is to write “this made me think of you” emails whenever I see something of interest to a friend
he fundamental attribution error describes the fact that we tend to view other people’s actions as reflections of their characters, and to overlook the power of the situation to influence their action. Don’t assume your friend is thoughtless and uncaring; maybe he’s just overwhelmed by the demands of a new boss. This is particularly true if you’re feeling lonely. Perhaps surprisingly, lonely people tend to be more defensive and judgmental than non-lonely people (link is external).
The Only Thing Constant About Friendship May Be the Number of Your Friends
http://news.sciencemag.org/social-sciences/2014/01/only-thing-constant-about-friendship-may-be-number-your-friends
Friends come and go, but the number of close friends you have may remain surprisingly constant. That's the main result from a new study in which researchers used cell phone data from British secondary school students as they transitioned to university to track how many close social connections they maintained. The research also suggests that people have distinct social “signatures,” or patterns of intimacy with others, which they tend to maintain over time
Although there were high levels of turnover in the names in each individual’s network, the basic characteristics of the network itself—how many people a person called and how much time they spent on the phone with them—remained the same throughout the 18-month period. For example, a person's top three contacts typically got 40% to 50% of the person's calls, the authors report today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
@The above finding is quite interesting. it shows that our best friend list chages as we move to new place or job. However parents,relatives,siblings remain in the list forever.
Best frequency friend a new term coined for best friend
http://johnmichaeldemarco.com/best-frequency-friends/
Make time to pick up the phone, email or text to keep up with each other’s lives. ‘The precise frequency of contact varies from friendship to friendship, but you need to discuss this and re-negotiate it over time,’ says Dr Levine. ‘It’s important that you recognise milestones such as birthdays, anniversaries or promotions, and show support through difficult times such as a loss or divorce.’
https://psychologies.co.uk/five-ways-keep-your-long-distance-friendships-alive
CREATE NEW MEMORIES
‘When it comes to properly maintaining friendships, old memories won’t suffice,’ explains Dr Levine. ‘Friends need to create rituals to build new memories together.’ You can try visiting the same restaurant or café whenever you see one another, or perhaps invest in a shared holiday at a midway point between your two countries.
Go back to basics. If you can't spare an entire evening at the theatre, for example, find 45 minutes for a coffee or a drink, rather than reschedule.
excerpts from a great blog:
https://happylists.wordpress.com/2008/07/14/ways-to-maintain-long-distance-friendships/
. Notebook. Grab a spiral notebook while you’re chatting on the phone (NOT while you’re driving!) and jot down the important stuff – people places, etc. Glance over it again to refresh your memory before calling or writing your friend. Little details make a big difference.
. Plan a yearly trip. Even if you’re both broke, plan a trip together every year (more if you have the funds to do so). Make it an annual thing and take lots of pictures. You can go to your friends place, your friend can come see you, or you can both go somewhere else together. Bring spouses and partners if you want, but warn them that it’s going to be a lot of “catching up” and it could get boring for others.
. Snail mail. Sending things in the mail may be a thing of the past, but if you don’t want your friendship to ALSO be a thing of the past, it’s time you figured out how to mail things. Yes, there are stamps involved. The post office can help you, but be prepared to wait in line and deal with cranky people. What can you send your friend? Anything! A note, postcard, letter, picture, book, cd, anything!
@sending small gift on yearly basis keeps friendship alive with ethos.
. Their friends. Your friend will make new friends. Be ready to accept that, and even more importantly – get to know them! Meet them, write them, talk to them. These people surround your friend’s life. If you are even just casual friends with the new friends, you will stay closer. If they want to surprise your friend, or if your friend really needs help – these new people will know they can count on you. And so will your friend.
. The bad stuff. When you experience something bad – whether it’s a bad day, or just a bad moment (feeling lonely, sad, angry, etc) call your friend. That’s what friends are for. Don’t think that just because it’s a long distance friendship that you can only share the good stuff. Great friends are there for the good AND the bad. So be sure to call when you need someone to talk to.
@ Good things of life should be shared with all; however bad things coudl be shared only with very close ones. Those bunch of people are your best friends.
some more ideas:
http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-03-28/10-ways-to-maintain-a-long-distance-friendship/
. Never stop texting. Julie recommends keeping your old texting habits intact. “I think you should still text them about the mundane crap in your life and theirs,” she says, just like you would when you lived in the same place. Jess swears by the iPhone app WhatsApp for free text messaging: “It’s a lifesaver!”
. Visit them as much as possible. Katelyn and I have already dedicated most of our travel budgets to visiting each other (I’m going to know the Southwest Airlines Nashville-Portland route like the back of my hand!). Jessica suggests using AirFareWatchdog to keep an eye out for the lowest fares.
. Skype, duh. Skype video makes you feel much closer than regular phone calls. Amelia recommends planning specific Skype dates, “like seeing the same movie and getting on Skype to talk about it after, or cooking the same meal together and eating it at the same time.” I love this idea, and Katelyn and I are excited to schedule some Skype tea dates.
. Make a schedule. If there’s a huge time difference (like NYC to Israel), don’t hesitate to schedule weekend phone calls ahead of time.
. Keep emails simple and frequent. “A lot of people think keeping in touch means writing long emails back and forth all the time,” says Jess. “My friends and I just constantly write shorter emails back and forth during the day, which makes us feel more a part of each other’s lives.” I’ve had other long distance friendships fizzle because I always felt like I needed to write long, all-encompassing emails, and I never had time, so I’m definitely going to keep this in mind!
ADVERTISEMENT
. Send free ecards to instantly celebrate major events. SomeECards has free ecards and so does Bust Magazine’s web site.
. Offer your couch. “Always let them know they’re welcome to stay at your place if they want to come visit,” Jess advises. “Some people feel weird about the imposition.”
. Send some love in the mail. “When I studied abroad in Prague in college, someone sent me a bunch of old Bitch magazines and it made me so happy,” says Jess. Julie and her BFF, who lives in San Francisco, send random postcards to each other. “Mail is the best!” says Julie, and I totally agree. Plus, whatever I can do to support my mailman is a good thing.
Group calls with best friends
https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-secret-to-staying-in-touch-with-longdistance-friends
Optimize Your Phone Calls
Picking up the phone sounds obvious enough, but when your job, family, S.O., new friends, classes, and errands are filling up your every minute, it can feel almost impossible to spend an hour chatting with your pals.
So, if you find yourself strapped for time, weekly or bimonthly conference calls are a great answer. Set a standing date—like every Tuesday night or the last Sunday of the month—and catch up with your five closest friends all at once. Or try conference calling 2.0: the Google Hangout. Unlike Skype and Facetime, you can chat with up to 10 people at a time. You can also watch YouTube videos together, share docs, or even wear and laugh at silly hats. (Or, grab mimosas and have a virtual brunch!)
And while group calls are great for close-knit groups, and for events like birthdays, wedding planning, and when you have major news to share—sometimes you need the old-fashioned one-on-one calls, too. Even if that means talking once a month instead of every week, you’ll feel more connected when you keep up these calls. If it’s hard to find time after work, try to squeeze them in on your commute or while going for a walk.
use different color in your email to highlight something>>>>
Here’s my favorite trick: One of my closest friends always comments back throughout the email body, in pink—and it’s awesome. A response of “hahaha” or “I remember that” or “Well what’s going on with me is…” in pink in the middle of the paragraph is a great way to really have a “conversation” over email.
Plan a Trip
Whether it’s heading back to campus for homecoming, meeting up in New York or Chicago or San Francisco once every six months, or going to a concert this summer, there’s no substitute for actually seeing each other. If your friend is a car-ride away, plan dinner or a day trip a few months in advance, and ink it on your calendar. If it’s a flight, start saving for a vacation. Yes, it can be expensive—but even if it’s only once a year, getting together will make a huge difference in keeping your friendships alive. Plus, you’ll get to make a new set of memories, in addition to the ones you’ve been missing from the past.
Text during festivals, personal events like birthday,anniversary. If feasible, send gifts like postal mail with card, books etc.
Call atleast once every 2 months for close friends. However it is better if calls could be made more frequent like every week or every two weeks or every month. If it is costly then use skype or viber. For other friends atleast once a year call and festival texts should be sent.
Face to face meetup could not substitute anything. So arrange a face to face meetup every year or atleat once every two years or three years.
Keep a log of when you last called. Using MS Excel makes it very easy and you could even put up a column next schedule call. In that column you can use the formula that shows next scheduled call date after two weeks. To keep the note about friend, it is suggested to use Notepad or similar text editor as these are very simple and quikc to open.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-project/201001/eight-tips-maintaining-friendships
It turns out that seeing a person once every six weeks is plenty to keep a friendship alive. Meeting in a group is efficient, because you see a lot of people at once; it also means you’re creating a social network, not just a one-off friendship. It’s a lot easier to maintain friendships with people if you have several friends in common.
Make the effort to say “This made me think of you.” We’re all busy, and keeping in touch can feel like a lot of work. One strategy that works for me is to write “this made me think of you” emails whenever I see something of interest to a friend
he fundamental attribution error describes the fact that we tend to view other people’s actions as reflections of their characters, and to overlook the power of the situation to influence their action. Don’t assume your friend is thoughtless and uncaring; maybe he’s just overwhelmed by the demands of a new boss. This is particularly true if you’re feeling lonely. Perhaps surprisingly, lonely people tend to be more defensive and judgmental than non-lonely people (link is external).
The Only Thing Constant About Friendship May Be the Number of Your Friends
http://news.sciencemag.org/social-sciences/2014/01/only-thing-constant-about-friendship-may-be-number-your-friends
Friends come and go, but the number of close friends you have may remain surprisingly constant. That's the main result from a new study in which researchers used cell phone data from British secondary school students as they transitioned to university to track how many close social connections they maintained. The research also suggests that people have distinct social “signatures,” or patterns of intimacy with others, which they tend to maintain over time
Although there were high levels of turnover in the names in each individual’s network, the basic characteristics of the network itself—how many people a person called and how much time they spent on the phone with them—remained the same throughout the 18-month period. For example, a person's top three contacts typically got 40% to 50% of the person's calls, the authors report today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
@The above finding is quite interesting. it shows that our best friend list chages as we move to new place or job. However parents,relatives,siblings remain in the list forever.
Best frequency friend a new term coined for best friend
http://johnmichaeldemarco.com/best-frequency-friends/
Make time to pick up the phone, email or text to keep up with each other’s lives. ‘The precise frequency of contact varies from friendship to friendship, but you need to discuss this and re-negotiate it over time,’ says Dr Levine. ‘It’s important that you recognise milestones such as birthdays, anniversaries or promotions, and show support through difficult times such as a loss or divorce.’
https://psychologies.co.uk/five-ways-keep-your-long-distance-friendships-alive
CREATE NEW MEMORIES
‘When it comes to properly maintaining friendships, old memories won’t suffice,’ explains Dr Levine. ‘Friends need to create rituals to build new memories together.’ You can try visiting the same restaurant or café whenever you see one another, or perhaps invest in a shared holiday at a midway point between your two countries.
Go back to basics. If you can't spare an entire evening at the theatre, for example, find 45 minutes for a coffee or a drink, rather than reschedule.
excerpts from a great blog:
https://happylists.wordpress.com/2008/07/14/ways-to-maintain-long-distance-friendships/
. Notebook. Grab a spiral notebook while you’re chatting on the phone (NOT while you’re driving!) and jot down the important stuff – people places, etc. Glance over it again to refresh your memory before calling or writing your friend. Little details make a big difference.
. Plan a yearly trip. Even if you’re both broke, plan a trip together every year (more if you have the funds to do so). Make it an annual thing and take lots of pictures. You can go to your friends place, your friend can come see you, or you can both go somewhere else together. Bring spouses and partners if you want, but warn them that it’s going to be a lot of “catching up” and it could get boring for others.
. Snail mail. Sending things in the mail may be a thing of the past, but if you don’t want your friendship to ALSO be a thing of the past, it’s time you figured out how to mail things. Yes, there are stamps involved. The post office can help you, but be prepared to wait in line and deal with cranky people. What can you send your friend? Anything! A note, postcard, letter, picture, book, cd, anything!
@sending small gift on yearly basis keeps friendship alive with ethos.
. Their friends. Your friend will make new friends. Be ready to accept that, and even more importantly – get to know them! Meet them, write them, talk to them. These people surround your friend’s life. If you are even just casual friends with the new friends, you will stay closer. If they want to surprise your friend, or if your friend really needs help – these new people will know they can count on you. And so will your friend.
. The bad stuff. When you experience something bad – whether it’s a bad day, or just a bad moment (feeling lonely, sad, angry, etc) call your friend. That’s what friends are for. Don’t think that just because it’s a long distance friendship that you can only share the good stuff. Great friends are there for the good AND the bad. So be sure to call when you need someone to talk to.
@ Good things of life should be shared with all; however bad things coudl be shared only with very close ones. Those bunch of people are your best friends.
some more ideas:
http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-03-28/10-ways-to-maintain-a-long-distance-friendship/
. Never stop texting. Julie recommends keeping your old texting habits intact. “I think you should still text them about the mundane crap in your life and theirs,” she says, just like you would when you lived in the same place. Jess swears by the iPhone app WhatsApp for free text messaging: “It’s a lifesaver!”
. Visit them as much as possible. Katelyn and I have already dedicated most of our travel budgets to visiting each other (I’m going to know the Southwest Airlines Nashville-Portland route like the back of my hand!). Jessica suggests using AirFareWatchdog to keep an eye out for the lowest fares.
. Skype, duh. Skype video makes you feel much closer than regular phone calls. Amelia recommends planning specific Skype dates, “like seeing the same movie and getting on Skype to talk about it after, or cooking the same meal together and eating it at the same time.” I love this idea, and Katelyn and I are excited to schedule some Skype tea dates.
. Make a schedule. If there’s a huge time difference (like NYC to Israel), don’t hesitate to schedule weekend phone calls ahead of time.
. Keep emails simple and frequent. “A lot of people think keeping in touch means writing long emails back and forth all the time,” says Jess. “My friends and I just constantly write shorter emails back and forth during the day, which makes us feel more a part of each other’s lives.” I’ve had other long distance friendships fizzle because I always felt like I needed to write long, all-encompassing emails, and I never had time, so I’m definitely going to keep this in mind!
ADVERTISEMENT
. Send free ecards to instantly celebrate major events. SomeECards has free ecards and so does Bust Magazine’s web site.
. Offer your couch. “Always let them know they’re welcome to stay at your place if they want to come visit,” Jess advises. “Some people feel weird about the imposition.”
. Send some love in the mail. “When I studied abroad in Prague in college, someone sent me a bunch of old Bitch magazines and it made me so happy,” says Jess. Julie and her BFF, who lives in San Francisco, send random postcards to each other. “Mail is the best!” says Julie, and I totally agree. Plus, whatever I can do to support my mailman is a good thing.
Group calls with best friends
https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-secret-to-staying-in-touch-with-longdistance-friends
Optimize Your Phone Calls
Picking up the phone sounds obvious enough, but when your job, family, S.O., new friends, classes, and errands are filling up your every minute, it can feel almost impossible to spend an hour chatting with your pals.
So, if you find yourself strapped for time, weekly or bimonthly conference calls are a great answer. Set a standing date—like every Tuesday night or the last Sunday of the month—and catch up with your five closest friends all at once. Or try conference calling 2.0: the Google Hangout. Unlike Skype and Facetime, you can chat with up to 10 people at a time. You can also watch YouTube videos together, share docs, or even wear and laugh at silly hats. (Or, grab mimosas and have a virtual brunch!)
And while group calls are great for close-knit groups, and for events like birthdays, wedding planning, and when you have major news to share—sometimes you need the old-fashioned one-on-one calls, too. Even if that means talking once a month instead of every week, you’ll feel more connected when you keep up these calls. If it’s hard to find time after work, try to squeeze them in on your commute or while going for a walk.
use different color in your email to highlight something>>>>
Here’s my favorite trick: One of my closest friends always comments back throughout the email body, in pink—and it’s awesome. A response of “hahaha” or “I remember that” or “Well what’s going on with me is…” in pink in the middle of the paragraph is a great way to really have a “conversation” over email.
Plan a Trip
Whether it’s heading back to campus for homecoming, meeting up in New York or Chicago or San Francisco once every six months, or going to a concert this summer, there’s no substitute for actually seeing each other. If your friend is a car-ride away, plan dinner or a day trip a few months in advance, and ink it on your calendar. If it’s a flight, start saving for a vacation. Yes, it can be expensive—but even if it’s only once a year, getting together will make a huge difference in keeping your friendships alive. Plus, you’ll get to make a new set of memories, in addition to the ones you’ve been missing from the past.
Labels: friendship, personal development
# posted by Abu Rashid @ 2:50 AM 
